It’s been so long since I climbed outside. And I miss it so much.
Th fresh air, the rough rock, the dirt, the approach, the scrambling just to get to the climb. The nervousness when I start the climb, the sight of birds flying below me. The blue sky with the one wisp of a cloud. The sun warming me, then beating me up with intense heat, and then the calm of the evening sun. Eating soggy subway sandwiches for lunch along with trail mix for dessert. Taking a small lazy nap while waiting for my turn up the rope.
Patience, I tell myself. Patience. You will have that gaian, the sun burns, the chapped lips and chaped hands, the sore body with bruises because of swinging into the rock. The infinite joy, the happiness and feeling of belonging with the rock. The dwarfing of me and the expanding of everything else. I will feel it again…someday..in the future. Meanhile my baby is small. And I need to enjoy this…being bound at home, running chores for her and the rest of the family, being bound by everybody else’s expectations, tied down…
This too shall pass. And before I know it, I will be climbing outside….and will see the blessed happiness of the outdoors on my daughter’s being too!