There seems to be a set pattern I follow. There is a period of setting goals and striving and straining to meet them. This period starts with ambition and thoughts of success and also with hard work. But at some point devolves into tunnel vision. The achieving is towards the metrics and not the actual thing itself. Towards the end of this period, there is exhaustion and burn out, discontent towards the
world and everything in it.
Then comes the period of rebelling, of giving up on goals. Of not doing anything at all, of seeking comfort and of self pity. But also of reset. Of trying to regain perspective, of trying to get in touch with myself and understanding the person I have become now.
As this understanding grows, the heart becomes lighter. Play and relaxation become more important. And the goals are almost forgotten. But then, this play only phase is not satisfying and the goals and dreams start…And the planning starts and the goals are formed… and the cycle begins again.